Feeling like my esteem has dipped. feeling UGLY. feeling FAT! I have been sitting on my bum all week, all day, staring at notes.. My eyes are uneven again (i know everyone says that they cannot tell a difference but i can see it and damn does it bother the shit out of me), feeling like i'm not eating very well. arghhhhhhh.. cannot! Ning must take care of yourself. dont be stingy when it comes to food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feeling stressed but my studying progression is bloody slow arghhhhhhhhhhhhh......... and feeling isolated too................
I keep telling myself this is the last lap already. after this, i have no mroe written papers to study from. just oral ones in my final semester. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... why is it getting harder and harder for me to study?? i use to be sooo motivated. Oh i know.. coz this is the 9th exam i've had in Uni. Oh and i forgot to count my A levels and O levels and secondary school exams and prelims and etc etc..
OMG i've not stopped studying for donkey years (btw, donkeys live for dman long.. i saw this 33yo one in sch the other day. hence the term donkey years i guess). then again i am not looking forward to working shit hours and have pathetic pay.
i spoke to my dad today about my future prospects and he didn't seem interested to hear about them at all.. "just get a stable job, tell me about what you want to do after your exams or after you graduate better"
damn he doesn't understand me. pisses me off alittle to think that he thinks that i am not serious. I mean, for the longest time (past 4 years??) i ahve been clueless as to what i want to do. but now i do, i just need to know how.
nvm nvm Ning, study first, at least just get thru this stupid last exam. face the fact that you prob cannot get honours nor specialise of of your LOUSY results. go do something else..
I love myself.
i do realise this post is very random.. feeling scattered brain-ed at the moment, not my fault. blame the exam period..
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