I have nothing to wear!!!!

How to beat the "I have nothing to wear syndrome"

For the past week or so, in fact many many weeks, and some days before, i have been having days when i feel like i have nothing to wear. i go onto websites to look for solutions, and they all tell me the same thing. to go look at other websites for inspirations, to go organise my closet, etc etc.. but they never tell me to..

Go for your bottoms first.

Today i have a short shopping session with my friend Brandon. who used to be a stylist at espirit, who used to be a model, who's mum was a model and who use to dress women. I feel so inspired! i just have to write this down before i forget anything!

Brandon is my best friend, Melissa's boyfriend and i have noticed in the past 2-3 years, her dressing has dramatically changed from being just nice, to stylist, classy and suitable for her. now i know why.

So if you feel like you have nothing to wear, perhaps it's because you are going for your top first, then finding your bottom to match with is harder. or maybe, you just really don't have anything to wear. Like for me, i didn't bring a lot of clothes back to singapore, so right here, right now in my cupboard, i have just 4 pairs of jeans, 1 dark blue, 1 black, 1 grey and 1 raw black denim coated. (oh wait, i have 2 more jeans, which i dont wear anymore), And i also have just 1 skirt. No wonder i spend hours in front of my mirror every time before i go out and yet when i rush out of the house, i still feel shitty about my dressing.

According to Brandon, look for your bottoms first. You'll immediately know what shoes to go with those bottoms. That's killing 2 birds with 1 stone. after that, then look for your top to match with. In fact, before you buy any bottom, you shoudl already know what tops can match with it. hence dressing becomes a breeze.

Colour is very important. Know what colours suit your skin. i just found out today that i should really be choosing darker colours cause of my fair skin tone. sure, i can wear pastels, and if i wanted to wear white, i have to chose a more creamy shade. but really, Black is a magic colour for everyone. especially me since i am so fair. "it's gives you shape and form" he says.

Do remember that different colours on different fabrics will look different also.

Dress to your shape, not to what's fashionable. Look at yourself in a full length mirror and know where your hip bone is. that is your 'cut off point'. choose clothes with proper length according to your shape. I cannot explain exactly what it means to individuals, but think of it as dressing to create the illusion of a slimmer/curvier silhouette, according to what you need. for example, he was explaining to another best friend of mine, Cheryl, that if you want to create the illusion of slenderness, create length. look for pants with small checkered patterns, or stripes, what are still small. Look pleats or other details that will enhance length when you look at it being worn. For shirts, ensure that the sewed edge between the sleeve and the body is dropped below your shoulders slightly. this creates the illusion that you are slimmer than the tshirt, and hence, slimmer (duh!)

For a good 5-6 years, i have faithfully avoided 3/4 pants. just so that i wont look stunted and short. i learnt this from a magazine i read years ago. damn was this information so so so so wrong! "why not?" Brandon says when i told him i cannot wear capris. We went to espirit and he handed me a pair of beige 3/4 to try. they ended 2/3s down my calf and to my surprise, they looked absolutely gorgeous on me! I was sooo excited! i have another bottom style to add to my wardrobe! I can't wait to get a more formal black pair of pants like this length!

So what has this taught me? Be adventurous. you'll never know till you try.

Another very important thing i learnt today, is about Respect for yourself. Brandon admits that he is old fashioned, and likes the more conservative way of dressing. And i do agree with him. I've never felt very comfortable wearing anything too exposed. Look at the people on the streets of singapore, and look at how they dress. Don't be like them. The concept of 'if you have it, flaunt it is wrong. "if you really have it and want to flaunt it, then dont wear anything!" Basically, don't dress like a singaporean. at first i was very intrigued by this view. not even shorts? but after thinking about it for a while, i know what he means, i understand. It really isn't nice to show majority of your thighs, nor your bust line. hence the emphasis again of how important length is. It's true, no matter how demure you are, walking onto an escalator is hazardous if you are wearing a mini skirt. not to mention the untoned parts of your body that are not very pleasant to see.

What do i mean by respect? It means, to dress such that other people can think of you in a proper manner. dress to be respected as a demure women, not some slut on the street who thinks it's ok to let anyone see what she has. I guess it is hard to explain to many girls that guys nowadays are not gentlemen anymore. it is very hard for them, especially young men, to look at a lady wearing a short skirt, or a loe cut top, and not think of that 3 letter word. I wouldn't want to be in this position at all. it is uncomfortable. and from now on, i know how to dress to avoid it.

I remember years ago in secondary school, of how students would talk of teachers who wore this and that. for example, there was this female teacher who loved wearing g-strings under her pants, what were visible. yes, VPL. (Visible panty line) whatever pattern of g-string she wore that day, the entire school will know about it. 'oh it's lacy today i think, or i think it's red today, i saw a hint of it just now when she bent over" geesh.. I think if she knew she was attracting this sort of unwanted attention, she would rethink the way she dressed. quite frankly, i doubt anyone wants to be in this position at all. to be talked about and stared upon all the time. surely this is not the type of attention you want.

I'm not saying that you have to cover yourself up like the Taleban. but really, underwear is called underwear for a reason, don't show it. and your assets are meant for your husband/boyfriend to see, not the world.

With respect, I'm not only talking about being demure, but also about dressing the part. for example, why is it that ministers dress formally at press conferences or meetings? to command respect. in other words, don't be sloppy. think of proper length. think of the right occasion to wear your clothing. thing of respect for yourself, and hence commanding respect from other people.

alright, i finally feel like i've written down everything we talked about today. man do i feel inspired to go shopping for the right clothes now! I told Brandon that he should write a book on this. old fashioned classy, demure dressing has disappeared. it would be nice to impart this knowledge and wisdom to today's generation. but Brandon is not interested. it's okie, i will try my best to convince him! in the meantime, i'll publish what he tells me. hee hee...