Morose

Moody..

Feel like my big dreams are getting further and further away. Actually, scrap that. I am doing something to bring my dreams closer, but they are going at the speed of a tortoise.

I'm naturally competitive. I'm happy for all my friends who achieve certain things in life, but every time they pass a milestone in life, I reflect upon my own and think how far I am behind them.

I learnt a new word the other day on Sims Medieval - morose. It was a trait you could pick for one of your sims. If your sim had this trait, no matter how well things went, they were not happy. Of course this is not the actual entire meaning of the wood. The word kinda just means moody. But it got me thinking... am I just morose at heart? Or am I actually genuinely struggling in life to get what I want?

Some times I feel everything I did associated to vet was a struggle. I struggled to get into the school, struggled to get use to the school, struggled to get along with vets, then I struggled to find a vet job, then now I'm struggled with the vet measly vet income. I have nothing to save at the end of the month. Nothing.

I think the truth is that I am really struggling with the whole vet career. Recent family events have made me miss home so much. Plus, yesterday I dreamt of my family. Even my grandma was in the dream! Nothing happened though, I was just sitting beside her.

I've made the decision to try to get a higher paid job. Plan B would be to go back and learn the ropes from my father. I love my family so much.