feeling like i've just woken up from a very very long dream.. feeling like i dont know so many things my friends know. feeling like i'm stupid sometimes.
well, i HAVE been hidden away at vet school for 5 years. so busy during that 5 years that perhaps i didn't get to do much else.
but now that i'm out, i feel stupid. i feel slow. for a start, i dont know anything about singapore anymore. my frens/bf will tell me about this place and that place and do you know this, do you know that. no i dont know. feeling like i'm miss duhhhhhh. (or Dr duhhh) what place, what brand, what dinning place, eatery, band, pub, club, party, event, store, what not... i prob wont know.
feeling sooo slow.. my frens are all working and earning their own money and i'm jobless and broke. FUCK! where has my mind been too all these years? why didn;t i notice these things before? feeling like my entire social circle has progressed while i sat and rotted at vet school.
feeling annoyed. annoyed with my dad. "chuanning i think you should come back". argghhhhhh.. i was packing my room on monday and i had no space. damn, i dont think i even have the right to call it my room anymore. there is no space or me. i dont have a bed to sleep in anymore. fuck! i'm bloody annoyed with the so many boxes and plastic bags around. my family is full of slobs and hoarders. oh why oh why am i the only neat freak? come back??? why should i? there is no space for me at all!!
when i;m away in melb, i miss home, then when i'm back, i am reminded or why i wanted to leave.
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