Covet

Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's belongings/happiness/life

I know this all along. But recently I've been finding it extremely difficult to control my feelings of envy.

Facebook is an evil tool in my search to feel unworthy. There are always friends and distant friends I will find whose life to me seems much further ahead than mine. Oh and how my eyes turn green.

I really feel that I'm working my arse off and not reaping the benefits. Most of them have their own house, are married/engaged/giving birth, owning businesses, earning big paycheques and here I am stuck in my rented apartment, stressful job and measly pay. You see how it is very difficult to not envy my friends. Even when they don't have everything, they are still happier than me.

I really need to stop acting this way. Negative energy will only be retaliated with more negative energy (or so Oprah said). I was doing so well in 2008 with my positive attitude. Now it's all gone down the drain. I need to reassure myself that it will all pay off with time. That it will be more than ok, that I will do GREAT THINGS in the near future. Because I know I am destined for great things. (Think Harry Potter wand choosing scene)

I need to reassure myself that I am worthy of a better life and that this will come very soon.